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      心理中心開學第一課:如何幫助孩子獨立
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      心理中心開學第一課:如何幫助孩子獨立
      作者:佚名    文章來源:本站原創    點擊數:    更新時間:2017-9-6

      心理中心開學第一課:如何幫助孩子獨立

                                    干士

      本學期開學典禮上,馬校長給孩子們講的第一課主題是:“邁向獨立,我可以做得更好”。 的確,初中孩子的獨立意識極大程度上影響著他們的身心及學業發展。作為老師和家長,如何有意識地培養孩子的獨立性,幫助他們更好的成長呢?

      1.父母學會分

      最成熟的親子之愛是分離,父母會隨著孩子的成長而逐漸放手。邊界不清的父母會在應該跟孩子分床睡時不愿意分開,美其名曰是為了跟孩子關系更親密。在孩子青春期時,孩子追求獨立的意識與父母不愿意分離之間的矛盾會造成父母與孩子之間的嚴重沖突。

      當父母的價值感都建立在孩子身上時,孩子的離開會給父母造成嚴重的分離焦慮。這種分離焦慮更可以說是一種反依賴:孩子依賴我,我是安全的;當孩子離開時,我會非常焦慮。

      2.強化獨立行為

      強化孩子所表現出來的獨立行為。不管依賴性多強的孩子,他在某一方面總會有一些獨立行為,一旦你發現了,要立刻給予肯定。當今后在遇到類似問題,你可以說:“上次你做得很棒,這次一定也會行。”

      3. 在循序漸進中得到提高和鍛煉

      獨立自主性的培養是一個長期的過程,需要循序漸進地進行。要讓孩子在循序漸進中不斷提高和鍛煉自己,老師和家長除了適時提供一些幫助,并給與及時的贊美和肯定外,還應做好榜樣作用。你的一舉一動,還有你的品質,孩子都在模仿和學習。所以,先從自己獨立自主做起,正確引導和幫助孩子樹立起獨立自主的能力。

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